Right or wrong?

I wonder, is wrong to let your children see you cry? Rather it is crying at a movie, or crying over a loved one, or just crying out of frustration...is it right, or wrong?

I am an emotional person, so it doesn't really take much for me to cry, especially since I have been through two pregnancies, extremely close together. I guess my hormones never really had a chance to settle down from the first pregnancy, because during the second pregnancy, I was a freaking basket case! I had suffered from post partum depression after the birth of my first son, and took medication to help, which it did. I thought for sure after the birth of my second son, I wouldn't need the medication as much, maybe not even at all. Boy, was I wrong.

Much to my surprise, I needed it more than ever! I will never forget the day I broke down in the shower just days after Colt was born. My parents had come by unexpectedly (no big deal, I like unannounced visitors) and Jason was tending to Jacob and our newborn son. My mom came in to check on me, and we chatted for a second. I know I had a look on my face, because she wouldn't have asked me what she did. "Baby, what's wrong?" Oh that just sent a river of tears down my face! She started to cry too as I told her, "I don't think I can do this!" I was in extreme pain from having labored and dilated to nearly 9 centimeters before pain medication was given, then the site of injection on my back was throbbing as well. She just told me, "yes, you can!" Don't' you worry, I will talk to Jason." Not that he wasn't doing everything he could to help, just that he wasn't fully aware of the toll that these pregnancies had taken on me.

Anyway, back to what I was originally saying, sometimes I just can't help but cry. I feel guilty for doing it in the site of my boys. I don't know, I just feel like their little hearts are hurting too, and the don't even know how to cope with that feeling yet. So, in turn, I feel bad for making them hurt, because I am over on the couch, blubbering like an idiot over cereal commercial!

Just chalk it up to me being a nutcase, I guess. I know my boys will learn that expressing their emotions, what ever they may be at the time, is healthy. Though it can be a scary situation for them, I guess that is when you,...ME, that parent needs to hold them and say, "it's okay to feel this way."